Fixation
by Killjoyncis
Summary: This story takes place in the same universe as Nothing to Offer and Profiling Tony, although I guess it would come between them timeline-wise. Abby and Tony talk about Jeffrey White and what happened at the cabin. Or rather, Abby talks. Tony? Not so much.


"How did you know, Tony?" Abby's voice is low. From where Tony is sitting, on the floor next to the Mass Spectrometer, all he can see without raising his eyes (which he is definitely not doing) are platform combat boots and white thigh highs with a ridiculous purple bow on the front of each leg. It occurs to him, not for the first time, that he's pretty sure any other person in the building would get fired for her getup, and realistically, this isn't even "Abby risqué". But Abby is Abby: adorable, friendly, and deadly smart. And any job would be lucky to have her. The fact that she is Tony's friend astonishes him more often than not. But despite all of his social outings, good friends are rare in his life, so he does all he can to make her happy.

"Know what?" He remembers that she asked him a question and blinks the cobwebs out of his thoughts.

"You must have known that Jeffrey White was the serial killer, otherwise he would have sliced and diced you in that car. Your reflexes are good, but they aren't that good. So how did you find out?" Abby slides down the wall next to Tony and rests her head on his shoulder. He fights the deep -seated urge to flinch and allows the comfort, because he knows it's more for her benefit than his. He stares at the wall opposite where they are sitting, Abby's Geisha-girl-meets-Princess-Leia pigtails partially obscuring his vision.

"Tony?" Her voice is tentative and careful. Sometimes, despite himself, he forgets how good Abby is at reading moods. Obviously, his has told her to tread lightly.

He snorts, calling up annoyance in his tone. "Because I'm not a trained profiler, I can't figure a few things out all by myself?"

"Hey, Mr. Sensitive! Chill out, yeah?" She pokes him in the side, and he grunts, twitching away from her. She shifts and sits facing him on the floor. "So what were the clues? How did you put two and two together and get psycho killer guy?"

He laughs a little. Considers his answer carefully. What can he say that will appease her but not give everything away? "He had a lot of rage in him. He was wound really tight."

"You could easily be describing Gibbs. You get that right?" Abby smiles.

He should know better than to deflect with Abby. He can give her some truth. Delicately now Tony. "I…I saw him kill Lane."

She gasps and her jade eyes fill with tears. "Oh my gosh!"

"Hey." He cups her cheek in his hand, strokes his thumb under her lashes. "No crying, Abs. They were bad guys. Both of them. It isn't something that I plan on losing sleep over."

"He did it that night at the cabin, right? When you first met Lane?"

Tony nods, remembering…

_It is cold in the cabin. Tony had been freezing since taking a tumble into the stream, and the ride on the motorcycle did not help, even with White wrapped around him like a limpet. Now, though, his shivering had little to do with the low temperature. Lane leaned against the doorframe of the room he had said Tony could sleep in. Tony ignored Lane for a moment, then turned to face the man. "Something you need, Lane?"_

_"Just trying to figure you out." Lane's tone was contemplative. "My gut tells me that you ain't the killing type. I can't picture it."_

_"Sorry to disappoint, but he was in my way. It wasn't even my fault, what I was going away for. I had a chance at freedom and I took it."_

_"And brought Jeffrey with you."_

_He smiled. "Well, Lane, I like having two hands so I didn't have much of a choice."_

_"Seems like you enjoy blaming other people. It wasn't your fault that you got arrested, wasn't your fault that you killed a Federal Marshall, and it wasn't your fault that you brought Jeffrey." Each word brought Lane closer to Tony. By the time he finished talking, he was close enough for Tony to smell the stale whiskey on his breath. "So tell me, Tony. You always looking to throw other folks under the bus?"_

_Tony swallowed and moved marginally away from Lane. "No. I take responsibility for my own issues. Just don't like being taken advantage of."_

_"That why you don't wanna go to prison?" Lane smirked. "You are awful pretty to be locked up with a bunch of…depraved individuals."_

_When Lane's hand reached toward him, Tony couldn't help it. He shrank away, not wanting to be touched by a man who may have murdered three people in Seattle. "I don't go for guys, Lane. Sorry. I'm not interested."_

_"Well the only way you are coming with us is if you have something to offer." Lane smirked, his watery blue eyes roving over Tony's form. "I think we can reach an agreement, don't you?"_

_Tony opened his mouth to reply, and then things happened very quickly. Lane moved closer. Tony stepped back, avoiding his outstretched hand again. Then a hand and a knife flashed, the blade sinking into the tender skin at Lane's throat and ripping across the flesh. A gaping wound, spurting blood, was left behind, and Lane was dead before his body hit the floor. Tony stared at him in disbelief. What had happened? Who had killed Lane? He looked up._

_"Why? Why did you kill him Jeffrey?" Nothing made sense. Why would Jeffrey kill Lane using Lane's M.O.? _

_"Same reason I killed those men in Seattle. I take care of what's mine." Jeffrey's voice was calm and matter-of-fact. "You are mine, Tony."_

_"I want to help you get the money. That doesn't make me yours." Tony shook his head._

_Jeffrey smiled. "We'll see."_

"…Tony? You need to stop vegging out on me, or I'll tell Gibbs that you need to be looked over by a doctor."

"Sorry," he says apologetically. "I was just thinking about the murder."

"Why did he do it? I thought Lane and Jeffrey were partners." Abby stands, pulling Tony up after her. "Doesn't make much business sense to kill your partner before you get the money."

"I don't know why he did it. He was crazy. A psychopath. It was pretty easy to see that he killed people who challenged him and did not do what he asked. Maybe he wanted the money for himself." Tony shrugs as he begins to walk away. He came down here to get away from questions, not face the Spanish Inquisition.

"That doesn't fit with the Seattle murders. The police department there said that it looked like Jeffrey killed people based on their interaction with the man he'd fixated on. Seems like Jeffrey had a crush on a local bookstore owner." Abby walks to her computer. Types in a few commands. And then the picture comes up on the plasma. Tony flinches. The man in the picture, a Donovan Scofield, from the caption, bears a striking resemblance to what Tony sees in the mirror every day.

In front of him, Abby snorts. "Wow. The guy is hot. I can see why Jeffrey picked him. In fact, he looks like someone. Who does he look like?"

Tony stalks over to the screen and stands next to it. Folding his arms, he glares at Abby. "Like me Abs. Donovan Scofield looks like me."

"Wow. You're right. Jeffrey must've thought it was fate, being handcuffed to you." Abby laughs a little, and then abruptly stops. "Tony?"

"Yes Abby."

"Jeffrey White fixated on you?" Her voice is suddenly careful.

"You could say that." He can figure out where this is going.

"What happened after he killed Lane? Donovan Scofield disappeared shortly after the murders. If we get some details from you, who he also apparently liked, we might be able to track this guy down."

Tony thinks back on that night in the cabin. The bargaining, the sheer terror, his refusal, Jeffrey's threats, the details of what had gone down with Donovan Scofield, All of it clear as a window in his mind. "We made arrangements to work together and get the money. We talked a little more. He told me about his abusive childhood. Then we went to sleep."

"That's not helpful." Abby is clearly disappointed.

Tony shrugs. "Sorry."

He turns to walk away. Goes a couple steps, and then hears Abby gasp. "Tony!"

Dammit. He has forgotten about the mark on the back of his neck. He freezes, his mind searching for possible lies. Searching and discarding. Because he can't lie to Abby. The only option left is damage control. He does not turn around, choosing to wait until she touches his arm. When he feels that, he faces her. Her expressive eyes are filled with tears again, her hands wringing together. For some reason, he smiles at the sight. She wants to save everyone, and he thinks it's sweet. "Abs. It's not a big deal."

"Yes it is. It's a huge deal. When you come back from an undercover mission with a fucking hickey on you, it is too a big deal. We need to tell someone right away. You need to get checked over. Maybe get some time off to see a counselor. At the very least, you need to let Ducky know so that he can examine you and make sure you aren't hurt."

"None of that is going to happen." His tone is firm. There is no room for compromise. He will have his way in this instance.

"Tony, you were ra-"

He cuts her off brutally, his voice angry to hide his blind panic. "I was undercover. Things happened undercover that forced me to think quickly. You can't count on everything going according to plan in an undercover op."

"I know that." Now she is starting to get angry. "Dammit, Tony! I am not an idiot. I know that things happen that you have to deal with. But I also know that Gibbs and the rest of your team need to know that you went through this, and I know that you need to get tested and checked over."

"I will take care of things that need to be seen to." He removes her hand from his arm. "But if you tell anyone, or hint to anyone, or insinuate to anyone that anything ugly happened, I will quit."

"You don't mean that! You've been working here three years. You can't just walk away."

His mouth twists cruelly. "Can't I?"

"No you can't. We're your family. You can't just leave us. You care too much and we love you." She is so certain that she has the upper hand in this conversation that he is almost sad to pull the rug out from underneath her.

"Maybe you should look more carefully at why I left Peoria."

He walks away then, listening to her cry, and knowing that he has won. There is no feeling of victory, however. Instead, there is an enormous hole in his stomach that makes his heart pound and his throat dry. Abby will stay quiet. It will all blow over. And life will go on. At some point, the guilt that he feels at making his friend cry might even pass. Gibbs will never know and McGee will never know and Kate and Ducky and Palmer won't know either. Sooner or later he will be able to shut his eyes and not wake up screaming and maybe he will stop feeling like he's committed a horrible crime himself. Abby will keep his secret and Gibbs will keep him around. Gibbs had to keep him around. It was essential.

Because more often than not, Tony feels as though the only difference between him and the people he arrests is Gibbs.


End file.
